The Land of Breakfast and Lunch — 9 of 9

Section 8 - The Land of Puppy Cardiovascular Health

The Idyllic Path is north of TFOTLS.

The Idyllic Path is north of TFOTLS. "You are on the idyllic path. Backwards from here is the liquor store, probably. Forward is The Land of Puppy Cardiovascular Health."

Idyllpath is in The Idyllic Path. It is scenery. The description of Idyllpath is "It's a perfectly formed path that leads away from the liquor store and towards The Land of Puppy Cardiovascular Health." Understand "path" as Seapath.

TLOPCH is north of the idyllic path. The printed name is "The Land of Puppy Cardiovascular Health". The description is "The meadows are wide and rolling here. [Mister Tuxedo] leaps and cavorts excitedly, barking every now and again.".

Mister Tuxedo is an animal in TLOPCH. Mister Tuxedo is proper-named. The printed name is "Mister Tuxedo". The description is "Mister Tuxedo is a young, healthy dog in the very prime of his life. He's black all over except the tips of his front paws, and the bottom of his chin and belly, giving him the appearance of permanent formalwear. He is a very handsome dog, and his honoric (Mister) is never abbreviated as 'Mr.'. You can call him 'Mister' or 'Tuxedo', but not 'Mr.' or 'Mr. Tuxedo'. It's for a good reason, I promise.[paragraph break]Mister Tuxedo lives only to leap, cavort, and catch a thrown ball." Understand "mister/tux/tuxedo" or "mister tux" or "mister tuxedo" as Tuxedo.

The paws are a part of Mister Tuxedo. The description is "The front paws are white, and the back paws are black.".

mr is scenery in TLOPCH. The description is "You can call him 'Mister' or 'Tuxedo', but not 'Mr.' or 'Mr. Tuxedo'. It's just not his name, and it[apostrophe]s just not done.". Understand "mr" or "mr tux" or "mr tuxedo" as mr.

Petting is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "pet [an animal]" as petting. Understand "pat [an animal]" as petting.

Instead of petting or kissing or taking Mister Tuxedo:

say "Mister Tuxedo is too excited to settle down and be affectionate. He's in more of a prancing, cavorting, chasing things mood right now.".

Instead of attacking Mister Tuxedo:

say "Whoa there, let's just pretend you're not the kind of person to attack a young, hopeful puppy. Anyway, Mister Tuxedo is a lot faster than you.".

[commands for Mister Tuxedo]

Fetching is an action applying to nothing. Understand "fetch" as fetching.

Instead of asking Mister Tuxedo to try fetching, say "Mister Tuxedo doesn't recognize the command, but he will probably fetch something you throw if he's interested.".

Staying is an action applying to nothing. Understand "sit" or "stay" as staying.

Instead of asking Mister Tuxedo to try staying, say "Mister Tuxedo cocks his head and sits for a moment, but he doesn't stay sitting for long.".

Rolling over is an action applying to nothing. Understand "roll over" or "roll" as rolling over.

Instead of asking Mister Tuxedo to try rolling over, say "Mister Tuxedo looks at you quizzically for a moment, but then, to your surprise, actually rolls over quickly. He barks as if it's not his favorite trick.".

Speaking is an action applying to nothing. Understand "speak" or "bark" as speaking.

Instead of asking Mister Tuxedo to try speaking, say "Mister Tuxedo gives a curt bark, and then a little awoo, so you know he was responding to your command.".

[other commands]

Instead of asking your brother to try doing something:

say "'Does it look like I[apostrophe]m taking orders from you? A little reminder: you are a giant loser.'".

Instead of asking the seaperson to try doing something:

say "'Although I am not technically the captain of The Chimera, I do not generally take orders from strangers.'".

AWP is a room. The printed name is "a white, hazy place that barely exists". AWP is north of TLOPCH. The description is "You find yourself in a white, hazy place that barely exists. You were going forward from the liquor store, and now you find yourself here. It feels confusing, and chilly, and fictional. It feels like a dead end. You don't know to a certainty how to go forward from here."

The haze is scenery in AWP. The description is "The haze is thick, cold, fictional, and fills you with a sense of mild dread and confusion. No matter how hard you look, you can't see very far into it. You can walk out in it quite a while, but as soon as you turn around and go backwards, you're back at The Land in Front of the Liquor Store.".

Report throwing when the player is in TLOPCH:

if the noun is not puppy-throwable:

say "That's not the kind of thing that would be good to throw to a puppy, so you just set it down at your feet instead." instead;

otherwise:

say "You check to make sure [Mister Tuxedo] is looking, and then you whip [the noun] as far as you can.";

if the noun is the block:

say "[line break]The [block] arcs through the air and tumbles to the ground a little ways away. [Mister Tuxedo] hardly managed to get up to a full run before he gets to the block and gingerly picks it up. He trots over and sets it near you. He's eager to fetch again. You didn't really get him up to full speed." instead;

otherwise if the noun is the naked doll:

say "[line break]The [naked doll] flies end-over-end and lands not very far from you, and [Mister Tuxedo] leaps upon it. He picks it up, whips it around a bit in his mouth, to make sure it's been pacified, trots over, and drops it near you. He's ready to fetch again. You didn't really get him up to full speed." instead;

otherwise if the noun is the tennis ball:

say "[line break]The [tennis ball] sails in a perfect arc through the air, hitting the ground and bouncing even further. [Mister Tuxedo] is running like a black streak. His body fully extends like some kind of ball-seeking puppy missile. He overshoots the tennis ball as it finally begins to roll to a stop and turns, leaping with joy upon the tennis ball, which fits perfectly in his little mouth.[paragraph break]He canters back towards you, full of pride and satisfaction, periodically giving the ball a little shake. Finally, he drops it a few feet from you, panting and happy." instead;

Test tuxedo with "f/f/f/open box/get all/f/f/f/f/f/f/f/f/f/f/ x tuxedo / x mr / pet mister / hit mister / throw block".

Check going north:

If the player is in AWP:

say "You don't know to a certainty how to go forward from here." instead.