The Land of Breakfast and Lunch — 8 of 9

Section 7 - The Liquor Store

The anticlimactic path is a room. The printed name is "Anticlimactic Path". It is north of TLOUV2. The description is "You are on the anticlimactic path. Backwards is [printed name of TLOUV2]. Ahead of you, you can see the back of the liquor store."

The antipath is in the anticlimactic path. It is scenery. The description of antipath is "It[apostrophe]s bound to lead somewhere exciting."

Understand "path" as the antipath.

The distant liquor store is scenery in the anticlimactic path. The description is "You can see the back of the liquor store off in the distance."

[behind]

TLBTLS is a room. It is north of the anticlimactic path. The printed name is "The Land Behind the Liquor Store". The description is "You are in The Land Behind the Liquor Store. It's underwhelming. You've got your standard collection of broken down boxes, a dumpster, and a stack of pallets. Behind you, the anticlimactic path leads to [printed name of TLOUV2]. Ahead of you, The Path Around the Liquor Store leads to The Land in Front of the Liquor Store."

There are broken down boxes in TLBTLS. It is scenery. The description is "The broken down boxes are stacked behind the dumpster. They are bound by nylon rope in stacks too big to carry.".

The nylon rope is a part of the broken down boxes.

There is a stack of pallets in TLBTLS. It is scenery. The description is "There are some wooden pallets and some plastic ones.". The wooden pallets are a part of the stack of pallets. The description is "They are made of wood.". The plastic pallets are part of the stack of pallets. The description is "They are made of plastic.".

There is a dumpster in TLBTLS. It is scenery. The description is "The dumpster is closed and locked, and has 'Jerkins and Parkins Waste Management' written on the side of it.".

Instead of taking something when the player is in TLBTLS:

if the noun is dumpster or the noun is rope or the noun is boxes or the noun is pallets:

say "There's nothing back behind the liquor store you need or want to carry around. It's really boring stuff, just to remind you what the back of a liquor store looks like.".

TPATLS is a room. The printed name is "The Path Around the Liquor Store". It is north of TLBTLS. The description is "You're on the path around the liquor store. You see the side of the liquor store on one side and a fence on the other side."

The liquorpath is in TPATLS. It is scenery. The description of liquorpath is "It[apostrophe]s a little like a sidewalk."

Understand "path" as the liquorpath.

The fence is in TPATLS. It is scenery. The description is "A wooden slat fence, about ten feet high. It's too high to climb."

Instead of climbing the fence, say "It's too high and seamless to climb. It's a very well made wooden slat fence and there's nothing to grab onto. Also, there's nothing good on the other side. It's a construction site, but there's not even anything there. It's just a hole in the ground basically. If you could climb the fence you could roll in the dirt if that's your thing. But it's not your thing is it? It doesn't matter. You can't climb the fence."

The liquor-store-side is in TPATLS. The printed name is "side of the liquor store". It is scenery. The description is "The side of the liquor store is the least interesting part of the liquor store. There[apostrophe]s not even any graffiti." Understand "side/store" as the liquor-store-side.

Table 2 - Liquor Advertisements

TFOTLS is a room. The printed name is "The Land in Front of the Liquor Store". It is north of TPATLS. The description is "The Land in Front of the Liquor Store looks mostly abandoned, and you feel a slight sense of disappointment and dread here. The liquor store is closed, looks like permanently, and there's just a weird kiddie ride here. There are marks on the sidewalk where some other metal vending machines were, but it looks like they've been carted away. Only the kiddie ride remains. It's pretty depressing here, but if you continue to go forward, the Idyllic Path leads to The Land of Puppy Cardiovascular health, which is the superior place.".

The front of the liquor store is scenery in TFOTLS. The description is "The liquor store looks closed, but pretty recently. Liquor advertisements are hung in the windows."

The sidewalk is scenery in TFOTLS. The description is "There are marks where a vending machine and a couple of other entertainments once were. For some reason the kiddie ride is still here.". Understand "mark/marks" as the sidewalk.

The advertisements are scenery in TFOTLS. Understand "ad/ads/advertisement" as the advertisements.

Instead of examining the advertisements:

choose a random row in The Table of Liquor Advertisements;

say "You read one of the advertisements, it says '[adcopy entry]'.".

[ The Kiddie Ride]

There is a kiddie ride in TFOTLS. The kiddie ride is a switched off device. It is fixed in place. It is pluggable and plugged. The description is "Off to the side a little ways is a mechanical kiddie ride. It's a big (to a child) yellow humvee with cartoon human eyes where the headlights should be. It's anchored to a diamond plate platform and looks to have stopped mid-tilt.[paragraph break]Mounted on a post next to it is a coin box showing the coin denomination necessary to make it run: 25¢, or one U.S. quarter dollar piece.[paragraph break]There were once two of these rides outside every grocery store in America. Whether they died out because kids collectively realized they weren't fun, or just liability, you're surprised to see this one here. [if the kiddie ride is plugged]It's plugged into a commercial outlet in the liquor store wall.[otherwise]It's unplugged.[end if]".

Understand "car/humvee" as the kiddie ride.

Check examining the ride:

if the ride is switched on, say "The kiddie ride has snapped to life, and the humvee is mechanically bucking like a very lazy bronco." instead.

The human eyes are a part of the kiddie ride. The description is "On the yellow humvee attached to the kiddie ride are a fiberglass molded set of human-looking eyes. They're meant to look excited and friendly, but they're straight-up creepy."

The industrial strength cord is a part of the kiddie ride. The industrial strength prongs are a part of the industrial strength cord.

The commercial outlet is a part of the front of the liquor store. The description of the commercial outlet is "There is a commercial outlet on the front of the liquor store wall. [if the kiddie ride is plugged]The kiddie ride is plugged into it.[otherwise if the lite-brite is in TFOTLS and lite-brite is plugged]The lite-brite is plugged into it.[otherwise]Nothing is plugged into it.[end if]". Understand "wall" as the commercial outlet.

[the saga of complicated plugging and unplugging in front of the liquor store]

[unplugging]

Instead of unplugging industrial strength cord: try unplugging the kiddie ride.

Instead of unplugging industrial strength prongs: try unplugging the kiddie ride.

Instead of unplugging the kiddie ride:

say "You pull the industrial strength cord out of the liquor store wall.";

now the kiddie ride is unplugged.

[plugging]

Check plugging into when the player is in TFOTLS:

if the noun is kiddie ride or the noun is industrial strength cord or the noun is industrial strength prongs:

if the location of the lite-brite is TFOTLS and the lite-brite is plugged and the second noun is the commercial outlet:

say "The lite-brite is plugged into the only outlet." instead;

otherwise if the second noun is the commercial outlet:

now the kiddie ride is plugged;

say "You plug the kiddie ride into the outlet." instead;

otherwise if the noun is the lite-brite or the noun is the flimsy cord or the noun is the ungrounded prongs:

if the kiddie ride is plugged and the second noun is the commercial outlet:

say "The kiddie ride is plugged into the only outlet." instead;

otherwise if the second noun is the commercial outlet:

silently try dropping the lite-brite;

now the lite-brite is plugged;

say "You plug the lite-brite into the outlet.[if the last page is in the lite-brite]The light in the lite-brite springs to life, activating the glowing ink in on the coloring book page. A luminous horse party begins to glow on the page. You can only imagine it's more vivid when it's not the broad daylight of The Land in Front of the Liquor Store.[otherwise]The light in the lite-brite springs to life. It is an odd, orange-tinted bulb.[end if]" instead.

Test plug with "f/f/f/open box/get all/f/f/f/f/f/f/f/f/unplug kiddie ride/plug kiddie ride into wall"

[coin box]

The coin box is a part of the kiddie ride. The description is "The coin box is a sturdy steel box with a coin slot in one end (25¢) and a coin return on the other. Next to the coin box is a small, cylindrical coin-release button."

The coin slot is a part of the coin box. The description is "It's a chrome slot to put a coin in."

The coin return tray is a part of the coin box. It is a container. The description is "The coin return tray is a shallow metal tray designed to let a coin of any size strike the bottom, convulse in a spasm of physics and metallurgy, and safely come to a rest, waiting for a person to collect it."

The coin release button is a part of the coin box. The description is "The coin release button is a small chrome cylinder that can be depressed all the way down into the coin box."

Instead of pushing the coin release button:

say "It smoothly depresses all the way down into the coin box. If there were a coin stuck in the mechanism, this action would theoretically release it into the coin release tray. There does not appear to be a coin and the coin release button depresses and releases noiselessly and frictionlessly.".

Before inserting a quarter into the coin slot when the kiddie ride is unplugged:

say "The kiddie ride is unplugged." instead.

Instead of inserting something into the kiddie ride:

try inserting the noun into the coin slot.

Instead of inserting something into the coin box:

try inserting the noun into the coin slot.

Check inserting something into the coin slot:

if the noun is a quarter and the player has the quarter:

[ * 25¢ baby! * ]

now the kiddie ride is switched on;

set pronouns from kiddie ride;

now the quarter is nowhere;

say "Gravity pulls the quarter down into the slot, and then there is an agonizing pause before the weight of the quarter trips an internal lever in the machine and its song comes to life. 50% speed in one second, full speed at two seconds. The song is 'In my merry Oldsmobile' and the dance of the humvee is drunken yet tame as it rolls and lists in a pattern potentially thrilling to a 3-year old but usually not really. If you want to, you can ride the humvee now." instead;

otherwise if the noun is a penny and the player has the penny:

now the penny is in the tray;

say "The penny slides down the chute, briefly contacts some mechanism inside, and clanks out the coin return tray." instead;

else:

say "It won't fit. It's not a coin." instead;

Check inserting something into the tray:

if the noun is a penny and the player has the penny:

now the penny is in the tray;

say "Normally you'd put the coin in the coin slot, but you lay the penny in the coin return anyway, perhaps to frustrate someone who comes along and thinks it might be a quarter, but then realizes it isn't." instead;

else:

say "It won't fit. It's not a coin." instead.

Understand "sit on [the kiddie ride]" as riding.

Instead of riding the kiddie ride:

If the kiddie ride is switched on:

say "You climb up on the molded fiberglass seat of the humvee like a pro and right yourself against its tame rollicking. At first you find it boring, but you quickly get in the spirit, facetiously adjusting your imaginary cowboy hat and making a quick lasso motion with your wrist to show the yellow humvee you're in full control, despite its raucous bucking.[paragraph break]If this was what you were trying to do, you pretty much won the game, but c'mon, you entered this fictional world with all its richness and descriptions of antipasto and space locations and all you wanted to do is solve its one puzzle? It's a mood piece, man! You're just supposed to be relaxed and soak up the sweet, sweet ambience. That said, none of my beta testers actually got the puzzle on their own. I didn't think it was that hard since if you trigger the jack-in-the-box in the room you find it in, it freaks your brother out, so I felt like that was a big clue, but I do have a lot of worthless items / red herrings. What was I talking about? I dunno, good job though. I personally suck at puzzles in games so I doubt I would have been able to figure it out myself.[paragraph break]Ok. I'll admit it. There might be one even harder puzzle.";

now the kiddie ride is switched off;

otherwise:

say "You climb up on the molded fiberglass seat of the humvee but it feels cold, joyless, and dead underneath you. You distinctly feel the feeling of being so unloved that no one would put a quarter in the slot, not understanding how such a simple thing could make all the difference. You slide slowly off.".

Instead of switching on the kiddie ride:

say "The way to turn on the kiddie ride is to put a quarter into the coin slot. Cash rules everything around the kiddie ride. Gotta insert the money. Quarter, quarter coin y'all.".

Test ride with "f / f / f / x ride / press coin release button / look under couch / get penny / put penny in slot"